Sunday, April 20, 2008

Operation Tozer*

I promised you the story of an elaborate revenge plot.  Why would someone feel the need to exact their revenge on innocent moi?  Let me tell you:

Many years ago, on a spring afternoon, my "BFF" Becca and I were running errands in her car with my dog, Bentley (the highly intelligent schnauzer who is now, sadly, in puppy heaven).  We had gone to about three different stores and Bentley had hopped out at one.  In retrospect, I think he was trying to tell us that he needed something, but we weren't listening.  We kept on running our errands, promising Bentley that we would be home soon.  Upon returning to the car after our last stop, I said to Becca:

"Why are your car windows steamed up?"

We opened the car door to find a very distraught dog who had pooped on the back seat.  

"AAAAAAAH!" Becca screamed, "Get out, get out!"

"Aaaaaah!" I screamed, "It's a busy street, get in, Bentley, get in!"

Fortunately, or perhaps not so fortunately, Bentley had pooped on a package that Becca was mailing to her mom, (sorry Mrs. S), and not on the upholstery.  We did some serious cleaning and airing out of the car.

Needless to say, this story has been told many times and, had Bentley been able to speak for himself, I believe he would have apologized profusely.  

Now, you're wondering, just how could Becca carry a grudge for something like this for so long... especially when you consider just how adorable Bentley was:


Well... it would seem that my dear friend is actually a brilliant mastermind. For years, she has been carrying this grudge and this past week, she followed through with her most devious plan EVER!

As you may recall, Becca has always encouraged my knitting.  She knows how passionate I am about it, and I believe she saw this as an open door!  As part of her plot, she "met" and married a man named Troy.  Troy's mother breeds dogs, Norwegian Elkhounds to be precise.  Then she and Troy adopted one of those dogs.  You may not know this, but Becca has horrible allergies and having a dog has put her back on her inhalers and she spends a lot of time clearing her throat and blowing her nose.  Despite this, she persevered.  The woman was that committed to the plot. 

She and Troy then built a house and invited me to stay with them while I was in town last week.  This is when the final stages of the plan were put into action. 

While I was in the shower on Tuesday morning, a certain four-legged animal, by the name of Tozer, snuck into my room and stole YARN OUT OF MY SUITCASE. When Becca saw him, sliding across the living room floor with both front paws on the mangled ball, she screamed.  I was getting dressed at this point and came running out of the room.  

Warning: If you are faint of heart, it is important to know that the photo that follows is a reenactment. This is not the actual yarn abuse in action.  

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She wrestled the yarn away from him and it was remarkably unscathed, although a little damp from a severe "licking".

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Despite the carnage, it only took about an hour to wind the yarn into a ball.

*Events may have been melodramatized for entertainment purposes.  In actual fact - I had a good laugh about Tozer and the yarn.  I just hope this event puts an end to the "Bentley Pooped in Becca's Car" story.

3 comments:

  1. I want to bury my face in that furry area around Tozer's neck.

    I have had exactly two puppy related yarn casualties, until she decided stinky shoes were way more tasty.

    Now? For some reason she seems wary of anything knitting related.

    Must be memories of me pulling half-yard strands out of her butt on busy city streets.

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  2. Thank goodness it was just a ball of yarn that got unwound and not all the progress on Imogen! Still disturbing, none the less. I will try not to ever get on Becca's bad side.

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  3. Bentley was so cute! I love schnauzers, they have so much personality.

    I am fortunate to not have had any incidents with yarn and dog... yet. I can see it in my future though. Maya seems to like sniffing my yarn (I am so proud of her for her taste) But there have been a couple times where I am knitting with the yarn on the floor where disaster has almost struck. At this time normally Maya will want attention and come over, walking all over my yarn and pawing at me, and the knitting. Much yelling and desperate grabbing of yarn in sues.

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