Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Dear Santa

You know, ever since I was a kid, I've been writing letters to Santa.
Seriously.
I stopped for a few years, in my mid-teens, and then started again in university. I've had a lot of fun with the letters over the years and a theme started to develop: I would start out with a query about his health and concern for his wife and eventually begin an irreverent conversations with Santa, questioning his treatment of the reindeer and their environmental impact (which, I'm sure, is quite low) and offer suggestions for group vacations for the elves. I would usually wrap things up by first begging forgiveness for the fact that I still believed in writing letters to him at such an advanced age, and then I would list my requests, some reasonable, some completely over-the-top... always ending with World Peace (if everyone asked, do you think we would get it?).
This year, with the blog being such a large part of my life, I thought I would just save the stamp and let Santa know what is on my wish list. Please excuse the blatant materialism.
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Dear Santa,
It's me, Stephanie. I hope you remember me, 'cause I certainly haven't forgotten you. I also hope that you are keeping well. With Primary Health Care Reform being such an important issue for Canadians this year, I would suggest that losing the "bowl full of jelly" you've got hanging over the ole belt might be a good idea - As they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. We don't want to see you waiting in line at some large, overcrowded hospital on Christmas Eve. I don't think the private clinics take payment in candy canes.
I hope Mrs. Claus and the elves are doing well. Please, give my best to them all and thank the Mrs for that cake recipe. You're a lucky man, Mr. C, to have such a great chef around. Explains the belly, I suppose.
As always, Santa, I know I am considered "too old" to be sending my list to you, but it certainly can't hurt. You don't get what you don't ask for, correct? You'll notice that some things are probably beyond reach or expectation, but hey, some kids just hand you the entire Sears Wish Book Toy Section. I'm sure you don't give them everything in there, do you? No, you somehow always manage to choose the appropriate things (b.t.w. thanks for the Rub A Dub Doll back in '77. I really liked her.) I leave it in your hands, big man.
Here's this year's list. :
Disclaimer: This year, Santa, as you well know, I'm deeply committed to knitting (As I say to all those who question my creative outlet - knitting is probably the safest thing you can do with needles!) and you'll notice that the first few of the things on my wish list are knitting related. Hey - my dad used to get tools for working on cars for Christmas - I can ask for yarn, right?
1. Please see my wish list on Chapters Indigo. In particular:
c. Scarf Style (Santa - you could be wearing one of these wonderful scarves next year!)
d. The Queen's Fool (I'll need some fiction in my life and I'm completely addicted to historical Fiction these days.
(you can get to my list by going to www.chapters.indigo.ca - then clicking "wish list" up at the top right of the screen - then type my email address into "Find a wish list" - ta-dah - I'm tellin' ya Santa - it's easy as pie... mmmmm... pie.)
2. A generous gift certificate to Tangled Skeins - 'cause yarn ain't cheap.
3. Clothes... Andrew and I are looking a bit threadbare these days. It's pathetic, really.
4. Tires for my car (and perhaps the 100 000km maintenance. Safety first, right Santa?)... or just a new car - Honda Element (hybrid)? Toyota Prius? A Smart Car? A Mini Cooper (do they come with 4WD?)??? I'm not sure about the logistics of dropping a car down my chimney, but it would be great and I would definitely be surprised if you did.
5. A trip to the salon for a good haircut and colour (I've been putting both off, but it's gone beyond silly now - it's been since MAY since I had a professional trim!) - or just send my regular stylist down to see me, k? That would be Jill, folks. She's a very dear friend (buds since kindergarten) and she's got the best sense of humour ...and she's in looooooooove.
6. Shoes - Andrew needs 'em too. (And he likes my Keens so much, he has his eye on these.)
7. A mattress - I'm starting to reach the creaky years, Santa. The saggy mattress has got to go. (I would give my eye teeth for a queen size bed, but that's just getting greedy).
8. Winter biking gear: I'm totally committed this year! Gas is just too bloody expensive. I've biked every day this week!
9. A trip to Vancouver to see some very special people.
10. A trip to the Galapagos - maybe just you and me, Santa. That would be fun.
11. The ability to reach things on high shelves without a step stool.
12. A big snow blower. bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... I'm only half joking. I hate the thought of putting gas into one of those things.
13. Solar panels for my roof.
14. A windmill for my back yard.
15. A professional landscaper, a new lawn and someone to plant a vegetable garden for me.
16. A dog.
17. More time to spend at home with #16.
18. More time to spend with Andrew.
19. One of those transporter things like on Star Trek so I could pop home to see my family more often.
20. Less white hair and more brown - or a case of L'Oreal Preference.
21. The ability to fly (may not need #19).
22. Tickets to Feist at the Marquee in January.
23. A forest in place of my neighbours' houses (I miss the trees at home.)
24. A Kayak. Because I live so close to this.
25. About a million dollars... but I'd be ok with a 10th of that... hee hee...
26. A total overhaul of my kitchen and basement. Debbie Travis has not heard my cries of anguish.
27. Dressmakers pins (abou 100 of the kind shaped like a T or the ones with the plastic things on the top - for blocking sweaters and other knitted gifts - 'cause the other ones are hard to see when you're pulling them out and I don't wanna leave a pin in a sweater!).
Ok, Santa, I had better stop, 'cause I'm just getting silly now.
Take care,
Steph
PS: The things I'm semi-serious about, I put in bold print. oh, and a bunch of those awesome smelling candles from my dad's store.

10 comments:

  1. Those are the best knitting books, Santa!

    You know she deserves them... ;)

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  2. I'm putting the Galapagos on my list too. I've wanted to go there ever since the Mighty Mites travelled there in Owl magazine so many years ago!

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  3. Can I just say #20 is somewhere on my list too?

    (And, unrelated to the rest of the list - I thought the Marquee closed last December?0

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  4. Oh.... Feist will be at the Marquee in January!

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  5. Re: #16. You can borrow the sophie anytime you want. I am not kidding about this either. Be warned, she will insist on sleeping in your bed, laying on your sofa, and only takes her pill in the morning if its buried in a chunk of cheese. Your keens will also not be safe. She also sheds like a champ. But her snuggles are worth it (she's an expert).

    We bought a queen sized bed when we moved here - it is heaven especially since there is now room for the 55lb dog.

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  6. Hey, I'm just finishing the Other Boleyn Girl, so The Queen's Fool is on my list as well. I hope Santa gets you everything on your list. And, honestly, you're not greedy -- there's no cashmere listed here, no kits from Virtual Yarns, no Hanne Falkenberg. Ooh, you have just begun to scratch the surface of knitting related lustiness.

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  7. Hey, you definitely deserve some kick-ass knitting gear. Btw, do legwarmers count as winter biking gear? I'm not as brave as you - so I'm unfamiliar with what constitutes winter biking clothes around here...

    And does Tangled Skeins have a wish-list? Or gift registry? Wouldn't that be nice...btw, I still think that the HRM SnB should be renamed the HRM Yarn Enablers.

    How are the cabled wristwarmers coming along?

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  8. Anonymous5:54 PM

    I hope you get everything you want! The Queen's Fool was pretty good, did you know that Phillipha Gregory has yet another novel coming on on the 6th? It's called "The Constant Princess." Add it to your list!

    Kestrel

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  9. HRM Yarn Enablers...hmm...perhaps we should add this as a resolution/amendment to discuss at our next meeting...

    - off to look up the "Queen's Fool" on amazon to find out what I've been missing.

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  10. Hey, you know the mouldy knitted green peanut? You should do this with him: http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=40919.0

    In your future, a Yoda I see....

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