Thursday, March 16, 2006

Janie Clarkson's Panties are going to be in such a knot!

We come upon our heroine, Stephanie, lunching with Mrs. Bradford-Smythe at what we can only assume is the dining room of a rather posh eating establishment. Stephanie is wearing a smart sage green suit in honour of St. Patrick's day, a delicate hat and kitten heeled shoes. (Stephanie looks good in this outfit despite the fact that she isn't sure about the hat in real life.)

The camera pans in past the potted palm and we overhear her talking to Mrs. Everett Smythe as they enjoy an afternoon tea. Mrs. Bradford-Smythe's voice is inaudible as, apart from being an absolute bore and being married to a wealthy supporter of the arts, Mrs. Bradford-Smythe is a low talker.

"Heavens to Betsy, did you hear the latest?"

Mrs. BS's inaudible mumble

No? Well, I don't like to repeat gossip, so lean in closer so you can hear it the first time.

You know Minou? Well, her Mommy just landed a job as the assistant designer on a film directed by this amazing man.

*leans back in chair and sips tea with one eyebrow cocked knowingly*

Mrs. BS's inaudible mumble - I've heard she's already gone through several speech therapists

What do you mean you don't know who he is? I wrote a paper about one of his films when I took that Narratives in Cinema class at Dal. You must have heard of that film. Jean Paul Gaultier designed the costumes for that film.

Mrs. BS's inaudible mumble - and four elocution teachers

Oh, no no... I heard he wanted the job, but that Mr. G didn't think he was up to the task. He didn't want the title character to be running around in striped shirts and red cravats. No, Mr. G. wanted the real thing. Angela is amazing.

Mrs. BS's inaudible mumble - did she just ask a question?

Stephanie sprays tea out of mouth in fit of horror*

An assistant designer DOES NOT FETCH COFFEE AND BONBONS! That's what the designer's assistant does! *harumph* She's assisting the designer with the DESIGNS. Yes, it's all terribly important.

Stephanie, muttering to self under breath - "Rather!"*

She leaves for Amsterdam on the 28th.

Mrs. BS's inaudible mumble - oh, for the love of God, really woman, just get a megaphone.

No, of this month. I know. Only 11 days to pack and she'll be gone for two months, if not more. I would think she'll need an entire suitcase just for shoes.

Stephanie nibbles a petite-four and wonders what the fuss is about these dreadful desserts

Janie Clarkson is just going to DIE of jealousy. I can't wait to tell her.

--end scene--


  1. Anonymous9:22 a.m.


    SO exciting (as if the exclamation points weren't enough - channelling Elaine Benice).

    I still haven't seen "the cook, his wife etc" - I'll put it on my movie list. Off to comment on Minou's blog...

    Say hi to Janie C for me -

  2. I haven't told Janie Clarkson yet. I am sure she will try to come up with something better to top it. Good Luck. I guess I better do lunch with her one more time before I leave....
    I decided last night while I couldn't sleep that I need to buy a second BIG suitcase. There is no other way around it....

  3. I have seen the The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover several times, the acting is superb, great music, and it is one of the most visually beautiful movies I have seen, about crass, vulgar, consumerism. It is not an easy film to sit through with out feeling discomfort, horror and yet be awed at the same time.
    I wanted to see this movie, as I'm a Helen Mirren fan, I'll admit though I have never seen any of Greenaway's other films.
    Cool gig for Minou's Mom.

  4. I am so excited -- I've been promising the girls that I'd point out Minou's mommy's name on a film credit roll as soon as I could. The movie will be out next year and I bet I won't be letting the girls see it until 2012!

    Me, I'll be seeing it as soon as possible -- how could I resist a film about Rembrandt as a former Art History major!!!

  5. Who is Janie Clarkson?