Tuesday, August 01, 2006

8 years and no one has been pushed down the stairs

As of August 2, 2006, Mr. Happy and I will celebrate the 8th anniversary of our marriage.

It's hard to believe that neither of us has pushed the other down the stairs yet, although, there was that time I fell on the stairs while Mr. Happy was in the living room - he says he has nothing to do with it, but I remain suspicious.

(I always said, if I had married the guy I was dating in high school I probably would have pushed him down the stairs by now. Which really isn't all that funny, considering that one of my ancestors died following a fall down the stairs. Hmmmm...)

Anyhoo, we're still married, we're still pretty darned happy with each other... in fact, I'd say that the last few years, although our most difficult for other reasons, have brought us closer together. We are a team. It's "us" vs. "them". We have discovered that understand each other better than other people do and we forgive each other the quirks that others would find maddening.

I've learned a lot about myself and about Mr. Happy in the last eight years:

I've learned that marriage is hard. It's not: "Woohoo, we had a big party, we said some vows and now it's all just happy, happy, joy, joy for the rest of our lives." It's every single day hard. Every single day you wake up and have to remember to put the other person first and hope that they are doing the same for you. If you're just in it for yourself, then you'll either kill your partner's self-esteem and trample all over them for the rest of your miserable lives together or your partner will figure it out pretty quick and you'll be at the end of the driveway with your suitcase and a footprint on your ass.

I've learned that men really do think in a completely different way than women do. And it's very frustrating for both partners.

I've learned that I can forgive many things, but forgetting a full carton of milk on the counter where it will sit for the entire day, will almost always send me over the edge.

I've learned that I can be a complete harpy and Mr. Happy will still pull me into his arms and hug the crazy away.

I've learned that when I feel like I don't belong anywhere, like no one understands me and I don't fit in, that I will always fit in and belong with Mr. Happy.

I've learned that men carrying laundry baskets or tearing down sheds are way more attractive than silly underwear models.

I've learned that the simple act of putting pjs in the bathroom for Mr. Happy to wear after he gets home from work at some ungodly hour of the night can be seen as an act of love and consideration, when in actual fact, I just don't want him to turn on the light and rummage through drawers in our bedroom while I'm sleeping.

Happy Anniversary.


  1. WOW! Eight years! Congrats! Aren't we the same age?! You must have gotten married early. This is a true feat in the modern world and I am duly impressed. I loved all of your statements re marriage. Go Team Happy!!!

  2. Yay! Congrats to you and Mr. Happy!

  3. Congrats! You two are an inspiration and have helped me keep Mr. Extremities alive ;)

  4. Congratulations! I so much agree with everything you said about marriage.

  5. Happy Anniversary!

    After 6 yrs of marriage, I agree that the characteristics of a successful union is about the "us vs them" team and mutual respect/admiration. It makes me happy to know that the "Happy's" are happy (snort).

    I bought Mr Moe a card for our most recent anniversary. It said something to the effect of:

    Cover - Our marriage is a strange and wonderful thing.

    Inside - I'm strange and you're wonderful.

    It is still my favourite card ever.

  6. Congratulations! I hope you have great plans for celebration.

    I agree wholeheartedly with your lessons, especially this one:

    "I've learned that I can be a complete harpy and Mr. (Moo) will still pull me into his arms and hug the crazy away."

    We hit #9 in June and then July came which was the worst month of our lives together - but it's that word "together" that makes all the difference.

  7. Congrats Mr. & Mrs. Happy! Isn't it great to have someone hug the crazy away.

    Keep it going for another 80. I'm cheering for your team :)

  8. Happy anniversary! Hope you celebrate it at a cheesy suite in the Poconos... you know, the ones that have heart shaped hot tubs?

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  10. Once more without types (I can't abide typos).

    We don't have an anniversary (something to do with not having a wedding, I guess!). But your reflections on the meaning of marriage were very thought provoking regardless!

  11. Ack! I made a typo when trying to type typo! Oh, the irony!

  12. Happy Anniversary! May you have many, many more!

  13. Happy Anniversary! I wish you many years of joy, happiness and no shoving...

  14. Happy Anniversary to you and Mr. Happy! You have learned much wisdom at an early age grasshopper.

  15. Happy Anniversary! My husband (Mr. Kasmo?) and I just celebrated #7 (for which the traditional gift is WOOL, and he's the one that looked it up!). One of your lessons learned made me get tears because it's true for me, too: I've learned that I can be a complete harpy and Mr. Happy will still pull me into his arms and hug the crazy away.

    Anyway, I was all touched and emotional so I copied that into an IM to Mr. Kasmo, and his reply was, "OK, so you like hugs. I knew that."

  16. Happy Anniversary! Oddly it sounds like your relationship is a lot like what Phil and I share...which is very encouraging as we end day 4 of our marriage! Keep up the good work!

  17. Sorry, delayed good wishes on account of stupidity!

    I liked whoever mentioned the "happy's are happy" it made me think "happy happy, joy joy"


  18. Hooray for Team Happy! Go, Team!! :)