The Parade of Shame... (or, Why I'll Be Phoning 1-800-SOS-KNIT)

Caution: Photo heavy post!

(The Parade of Shame should not be confused with the "Irving of Shame" - please... please... can I tell that story? Identifying details will be left out... it's just so funny... and I'm sure many people have had their own "Irving of Shame" moments.)

I think I finally understand the meaning of Startitis. It's like PMS... only instead of chocolate... I'm craving yarn. I want to buy yarn, and not just one project worth of yarn, I want to buy several different kinds of yarn and then, I want to start all of the projects as soon as I get home! My fingers are itching. I'm only blogging tonight to keep myself from starting something new. I know the delay will only last as long as it takes me to finish this post. I feel so out of control!

I know I've got quite a few projects on the needles and what did I do today? I had the day off so I headed off to visit Sheryl at Tangled Skeins. I was barely out the door of my house when she called to ask if I was on my way and to let me know that there was new yarn at the shop. Great. I wasn't even 100 yards from my stash and new stash possibilities were presenting themselves to me. I practically sprinted down the hill to the store...

But first, I stopped here:

Linda of Two Sticks and Some String will be glad to know that. Please, Linda... don't pass out when the package arrives.

After ticking off the appropriate spots on the customs form, I headed to Tangled Skeins (alert, alert - Sheryl has put the sock yarn on for 20% off!!!!! Alert, alert! Sock knitters, sit up and take notice! Sock Yarn Sale at Tangled Skeins! Even on the new Cherry Tree Hill sock yarn.). It was bad, ladies and gents. Bad. I wanted to buy everything in the store. I had $ in my pocket and I didn't know what to do with it. No, wait, I did know what to do with it.

A while ago, Sheryl made this for a friend who was having a baby:

And I've been thinking about it ever since. There are a lot of people having babies in my family. Stop looking at me like that. I know I shouldn't have done it... but I just had to bring it home.

After the Celestial Merino Dream, I moved on. To this:

This is Malabrigo Uruguay. This is the stuff that Sheryl called to say had arrived. It's the kind of yarn that makes you want roll around on a pile of it on the floor. You could make a bed out of it and if you slept on it, you would think you had been sleeping on a cloud. The blue/green skein the left is for either Mr. Happy or one of Mr. Happy's nephews. The stuff on on the right is for someone else...

After that things got really bad. I flitted from cubby to cubby, fondling yarn, pulling out pattern books. I even called my SIL's house to see what colour her husband's winter coat is so that I could start working on a hat for him for Christmas. My SIL wasn't home, so I discussed it with my 10.5 year-old niece. What kind of monster have I become??????? I'm dragging a 10.5 year-old girl into my addiction. It's awful. Just awful. I'm so ashamed of myself.

So, I swapped a leftover ball of pink Rowan Wool Cotton for this...

and left the store.

When got home, I put everything out on the table. The new stuff. The old stuff. All together. One great big dysfunctional family of yarn and UFOs. Here it is:

Do you see all that? Let me just show you some close ups of the things we haven't already discussed.

For one, here's the hat I brought home from the shop after I worked on Saturday. It's something Sheryl started and then abandoned in her own fit of startitis. I decided it looked lonely and that I should be the one to finish it.

Here's the second Molly bolero that I need to finish for my niece, Lauryn, before Christmas.

I worked on this all day on Thursday while I was in Atlanta. I worked on it for so long that day, in fact, that my right hand ached when I was getting undressed and I could hardly pull off my socks. Repetitive stress injury, perhaps? It's the first time I've ever felt that. It's not pleasant.

I started this while on summer vacation.

It's the Travelling Vines pattern from Dogs Steal Yarn. It's for my MIL. I work one pattern repeat every few days. Or at least, that's the lie I tell myself so that I don't panic and worry that it won't be done for Christmas. I didn't put anything in this photo for scale on purpose. I don't want the rest of you to know how unlikely it is that this will be much more than a pipe dream Christmas present. My MIL is having a rough year. This would be a very nice thing for me to finish for her. Please, feel free to remind me about it if I don't talk about it again, ok?

This is the reason I had some Rowan Wool Cotton to swap.

SnB Nation says you need TWO balls of the main colour for this hat. If you're knitting the small version, I'm quite certain you'll only need one ball. Isn't it adorable?

You can also see...

...that I've managed to avoid most of the second sock syndrom and have already turned the heel on this sock. I know it seems like I've been knitting these socks for a long time, but truth be told, and as you can see, I've been working on other things when I'm at home. Sock knitting is airplane knitting. It's standing in line at the bank knitting.

This big pile of hurt:

is at home knitting. This is the yarn for and a corner of the baby blankets I'm making for the twins my cousin's wife will be having some time after Christmas. I hope. No pressure or anything. Just two blankets. Along with everything else. I can handle it. No problem-o. I'm a knitting machine.

*tiny voice* I. can't. breathe.