Friday, September 08, 2006

Imagine my excitement!*

Today I got an email from the Big Guy. Well, not so much the Big Guy, as his son:

I got an email from JESUS!

As you can well imagine, this email was quite unexpected. And in my medicated cold-fighting state, it really took me by surprise. I clicked on the message and read the subject heading:

Subject heading?

Ok, so that's a little hard to interpret. But perhaps it was an intro to a modern-day parable? I scrolled down the page, thinking I was missing something. I was thoroughly dismayed to see this at the bottom of the page:

Thank you, Jesus.

Erm. Apparently the big guy thinks we need help.

Uh... um... Thank you..., uh... Jesus?

If Jesus were to send me an email, I really didn't think this would be his message. I really thought it would be something like:
- Knit more for charity, you selfish woman!
- Don't curse out drivers when they fail to yield to you on your bike. It's rude and you're using my name in vain.
- Hey, got your email address from an old friend. Sorry we haven't been in touch - what's new?

But this? Uh, I really didn't think he was that concerned with... well, you know.

Seriously though - the spammers have sunk to a new low. Using Jesus as a guise to get people to buy illicit erect*le dysfunction drugs from unreliable sources? That's really somewhere I didn't think they would go. What's next? Using Catholic Saints to sell C*anadian prescription drugs ? Using Ganesh to advise everyone of stock market investments? or Allah for cheap hair care products? Seriously? This is just nasty.

*With apologies to sensitive souls.


  1. I would buy anything from Ganesh (I heart elephants). Plus having him onside for life obstacles would be a plus. A friend of mine(who is indo-canadian) has a little Ganesh on his car dashboard. Get it? Preventing obstacles? Ha ha ha....

  2. Mr. & Mrs. S1:24 p.m.

    Love your creative mind...
    But we are sure that if you received an e-mail from Jesus, it woudl just say, 'I love you anyway!!'

  3. I seriously doubt Jesus would ever sell viagra. That is very very low. They'll answer for that I am sure.
    Hope your cold is better!

  4. Well as long as Isis isn't hawking female hygene products...

    I don't see Jesus as much of a spammer really. I think he'd be more likely to do those "Answer these questions and let your friends learn something new".

  5. I block all my spammers however; this one would give me an odd feeling... I mean blocking Jesus. I would suggest however, stepping away from the cold medication. Me thinks you have over indulged, either that or your herbal tea has an illicit herb in it. You know like the tea in 'Saving Grace'. My favourite feel good movie BTW

  6. hell, I'm drunk ... it's saturday night... I thought this was frickin hilarious... my apologies to Jesus though....

  7. Uncle K3:24 a.m.

    Maybe this email was from a little Spanish guy "hayzus". If this was true I might send a reply to jesus, and say "hey what's up man"!

    If this was really from JESUS, I would not reply in that manner.