Friday, July 04, 2008

An Open Letter of Apology to Schmamadian Schnire

Dear Schmamadian Snire,

I would like to sincerely apologize for my previous letter. I was in the throes of home renovation and was feeling vulnerable and sensitive to every inconvenience. I do hope you can forgive me and that we can remain friends.

After the mis-tinted paint drama back in March, I finally got around to painting my craft studio. The Debbie Travis paint covered the walls quite nicely. I am thrilled with both the white and the green in my craft studio. It is exactly what I imagined.

You'll be pleased to know that Mr. Happy and I are doing more "sprucing up" at our house. We've stripped the 80-year-old wallpaper in our bedroom and are preparing to paint this weekend. After much hemming and hawing, we decided to paint the room with the same colour we used in the craft studio.
Today I walked over your threshold and down your hallowed aisles to stand, humbly before the paint counter.

Happily, I found a very helpful staff member who called over, "Someone who loves to mix paint." When the someone arrived at the counter, I was surprised to see the face of a teenage boy. Having worked for my parents from the tender age of mumble, mumble* I understand that some aspects of a retail job are a lot of fun.**

The young man walked with me to the Debbie Travis paint section where he asked, "Do you want to use her paint or do you want to use another base?"

I promptly replied, "Um, no. I'll use Debbie's because the last time I had this colour mixed in a different base, it turned out pink and there was a some drama trying to get it right."

He said, "oh. I think I may have heard about that."

My eyes widened and I said, "Oh dear, yes. That was me! Three cans of paint later I left with Debbie Travis.*"

The young man just smiled and headed to the counter with the base. Ahem. Apparently the new personnel at the store are learning from the fiascos of the past.

If you calibrate your paint machine; learn how to correct mistints; and be nice to your customers, they will, after a bit of whingeing come back to you. And they will be thrilled to pieces to discover their new favourite paint brand is on sale.

$7.00 off? I'm painting the whole bloody house at that price!

Thank you again, for welcoming back your prodigal daughter with open doors and lots of tempting goodies in the sale bins.***

Yours always,


*I'm sure there were labour laws broken, so let's not discuss how young I was
**For me, it was bagging the bulk chocolates.
***Why yes, I DO need a Margaritaville Frozen Cocktail maker and a set of Tinkerbell floor mats!


  1. Anonymous9:27 p.m.

    I dunno. I'm still holding a grudge over the BBQ purchasing fiasco of 2006. I still wish I'd gone with Mr Moe's suggestion that we steal the dolly b/c they weren't noticing/helping us anyway...

  2. YOu won't get the $5000 anyways - give it up and tell us how you really feel.
    I could whine about the auto department a little. The don't understand how a line works and prefer answering question of those who bud in front after you have been waitng patiently for over 10 minutes.

  3. I miss the Martha Stewart paints that CT use to carry... there was the most perfect off whitish
    paint colour in that line which I've never been able to match in any other brand. I was just at my local CT; I went in for a $6.99 item and walked out with $150.00 of stuff. (oops, that sounds like I just took it… I paid for $150.00 worth of stuff) I'm disappointed though that they did not have any Tinkerbelle floor mats in the bargain bin 'cus I'd probably have bought those too.
    Same thing happens when I go to Kent's, I just NEED the shiny metal industrial dustpan and the...