Sunday, February 20, 2005

High Fidelity and the Equal Chance My Ass Awards

I just finished watching High Fidelity for about the 20th time. I don't know what it is about the movie that makes me like it so much... John Cusack's portrayal of the brooding mixed-up Rob Gordon? Jack Black's surprising rendition of "Let's Get It On" at the end of the film? Is it the music? Is it the way the film picks apart the mentality of music lovers?

I am, by no means, a music connoisseur of the same degree as the characters in the movie, but I do think of myself as a music snob - I DO NOT listen top 40 radio, but instead choose to listen to CBC Radio One, EXCLUSIVELY. I can't do top 40 radio. It makes me gag, shift uncomfortably in my seat, break out in hives, whatever, it is a very rare occurrence for me to hear a song I like on top 40 radio. That's just me, though, and I'm sure that there are songs on top 40 now that will eventually end up on my hit list, but I don't want to take the time to pull the pearls out of the poop, if you know what I mean.

There are moments when I switch the dial to the oldies station, but they are few and far between and usually involve long road trips. I do this in search of classic rock songs. As a friend and entertainment columnist once wrote, there are classic rock songs and then there is "classic" rock. It was a great article.

A classic rock song would be an anthem, something that resonates in your soul; a song that quite possibly changed your life or changed rock and roll FOREVER; a song which, when it comes over the speakers in a store or at a party, everyone sings along and talks about how great that song is and all too often they discuss what a shame it is that the band broke up or that the lead singer's life was cut short by fast times and hard livin', even though, deep down, everyone knows that it is quite possible that no other song the band could have produced would have met our expectations or the needs of our souls.

Then there is "Classic" rock. That's the (to borrow a line from Jack Black's character, Barry) crappy pap that no one wants to listen to. "Classic" rock people, you know who you are, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. You make my long road trips absolute hell on wheels. Every pun intended.

Sooooooo... here's hoping for some performers and awards that promote classic rock tonight on the EAST COAST MUSIC AWARDS. 'cause if I have to watch Great Big Disappointment get up there are get yet ANOTHER award for having good hair or for making the most effing money, or group of the year AGAIN, then I think I'm going to use my knitting needles to gouge out my eyes. I apologize to all the Great Big Fans out there, but really, how many years is it polite to have your name in the hat for this award? Where is Emily Post when we need her? Gah!

But, if you happen to be watching tonight, and in the event that they happen to televise the award for Best Alternative Band, then there is a slight chance you'll see a flash of my husband's face on tv. 'cause he's there. And, although we're all pretty sure his band has a snowball's chance in Arizona to win the award, it would still be cool to hear the band's name on a Canada-wide broadcast. Not that they haven't been on Much or Zed before, but it's just nice. You know what I'm sayin'? But their category probably won't be televised. 'cause it's not sexy. Oh well, one can live in hope, can't one?

CBC TV, 8pm Eastern time. The live broadcast. Watch it! Support the locals. 'cause you'll look stupid when they come back from Europe or Japan or the USA and they are the next big thing and you didn't know it because you've been listening to that top 40 crappy pap all this time!

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