Monday, February 28, 2005

Ohmigod, Ohmigod, Ohmigod!*

As per your request Luc, here is an Ohmigod moment. The stars are with you, M. Castonguay, because this happened 2 hours after you requested it:

Today is a very happy day in our house. Today is the day the painter came to rescue us from our hallway!
Background: We live in an 80-year-old semi-detached house (is that what they call it?). It was built that way, so everything that hasn't been renovated is a mirror image of our neighbour's side of the house (actually, nothing has been renovated on our side, but a porch as added about 50 years ago). When we moved into the house almost 4 years ago, there was wallpaper in almost every room. And it wasn't new wallpaper, oh no! It was old wallpaper, in fact, it is so old it has come back into style (like 1920s or 1950s). If it weren't for the fact that it is really worn and faded, we would keep the stuff with the ferns in our bedroom.

Since the house is 80 y. o. it has nice high ceilings (10 feet). The hallway and stairs are in the centre of the house on the wall that is shared with the neighbours. Although we have been "working" on the hall for almost 3 years, we just never seem to have enough energy to get it done. Last summer Andrew removed all of the paper in the hallway with the exception of the front entrance and a little patch near the basement stairs. I even managed to do some crack-filling.

We have been procrastinating so long that it finally got to my father-in-law and mother-in-law and they offered to hire someone to paint the hall AND to fix the ginormous hole in our kitchen ceiling (the one that the plumbers made when they fixed things so that my tub would drain). Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE father-in-law and mother-in-law? He's got a serious chocolate addiction, so I will be making him his very own chocolate cheesecake when this is done! Complete with real whipped cream and homemade strawberry sauce. And for her, the French Market bag - It'll coordinate with her new winter jacket, I think.

Ok, back to the point of the story:

The Ohmigod Moment:
The guy we hired to do all this work came by this morning to pick up the $ for the paint (he's a friend of a friend and a reputable guy, so hopefully he's not going to take the money and run, whoa oh-oh... who sang that?). I led him downstairs to show him where the laundry sink is and for him to check the gunk (plaster? crack-fill? spackle?) we had from when we did our living room, dining room and two spare rooms. Our basement stairs are old and steep and the steps themselves are narrow. I usually remember to tell people, "Watch the stairs, they're steep" but today I didn't.
So, I'm walking down the stairs and he's behind me. I hear this horrible noise and turn back in time to see him missing two stairs, and falling back in an attempt to catch himself. I put up my arm to steady him and to keep him from making me the unfortunate final domino. Now, Luc, what do you think are the first words that come out of my mouth?

"Ohmigod, ohmigod! Are you ok?"

The poor guy. I think he thought I was trying to kill him. He turned bright red and instantly broke out into a sweat. He said he thought he pulled a muscle in his neck. Nooooooooooo!!!! He has to be able to look up when he's painting and fixing our ceiling! He has to be able to work and care for his family. (Did you catch how I thought of myself and my paint first? Nice.) I just NOW thought that I should have offered him an Ibuprofen to prevent inflammation... hot load of good that will do him now. I'm at work and he's gone off to make a delivery and then pick up our paint.

I've never been so glad that I don't live in the States. If I did, I would be standing in front of Judge Judy by now.

Oh, here's the best line I heard all weekend. My cousin's husband said this in reference to someone who isn't good at taking constructive criticism:

"You can't tell her/him anything. It's like pissin' on a skunk."

Gotta love those New Brunswick boys.


  1. Jackie1:41 p.m.

    Steve Miller Band - that's who sange the song!

  2. That comment ranks right up with some gems from my midwest (US) teen-hood (my childhood was elsewhere-Army brat) such as "slicker than snot on a greased doorknob" (or ...than buttered owl sh*t"), or "it's rainin' like a cow peein' on a flat rock". I can't wait for the opportunity to use it. Thanks :)