Sunday, November 13, 2005

Too Many Jokes... Must make fun... ARGH!



Jak and I were at Chapters today for a coffee and knitting book perusal (we do Chapters right - we were there for two and a half hours). This lovely item was in one of the knitting magazines on the rack.

Some captions that have gone through my mind:

1. When Susie was little she was so ugly, we had to string toys around her neck so that Fluffy would play with her.

2. Yet another reason why crochet is BAD.

3. Janet tried to hide her disappointment when her husband presented her with crocheted balls for their 10th anniversary instead of the pearls she was expecting... but she was overcome and started weeping into her $30 entree.

4. Festive with just a touch of sparkle, this crocheted necklace is filled with garlic, perfect for fending off colds and vampires!

5. While Eleanor proudly wore the necklace gifted to her by her strange uncle Xavier, little did she know the eggs would soon hatch and the aliens would feed off her body.

6. Meatballs... oh crap, they look like meatballs... mouldy ones.

7. Heidi was convinced her parents had given her this necklace to prevent her prom date from getting to second base.

8. "Yeah, it's pretty, but does it float?"

9. "It's not the kind of jewellry you forget to take off before bed."

10. I swear, I saw someone on the Fugly website wearing something just like that.


Anyone else?

10 comments:

  1. I pick:
    "5. While Eleanor proudly wore the necklace gifted to her by her strange uncle Xavier, little did she know the eggs would soon hatch and the aliens would feed off her body."

    Reminds me of the "you knit what?" recent sweater with the little bits of what looks like q-tip heads on it.

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  2. Tish (dudevoir@adelphia.net)2:46 PM

    How about: Marjorie's husband was too cheap to buy her the hand knit silk shawl she wanted, so he bought her a string of silk cocoons and told her it was a "do it yourself" kit.

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  3. Was that necklace made from the pate forcemeat I made in my Charcuterie class last week?
    Sigh. One of the more evil uses for aspic jelly.

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  4. Not sure about your reason #2. I never discount a craft, you never know what is fun until you try it. :-)
    Maybe you prefer your balls knit?
    http://www.rebecca-online.de/cont_en/anleitungen/heft_30_anl_31.pdf
    http://www.rebecca-online.de/cont_en/anleitungen/heft_30_anl_09.pdf

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  5. "Poor Nancy, still teething at age 30..."

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  6. how about "Morgan encouraged her crochet students to bring in project ideas for their workshop. She bit her lip and was soon silently crocheting enough flowers to hide her disgust from view. She knew the fun fur cuffs, collars and flip-flops were only a matter of time." (I'm getting nervous...I refuse to teach people to further crochet's bad rap)

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  7. Caution: Don't wear these to a golf banquet -- the golfers might need you to demonstrate their latest story from the links.

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  8. Uncle K1:05 AM

    Trying to upstage God, Suzie wore the solar system like a cheap necklace.

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  9. and you thought EATING prairie oysters was gross.

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  10. They knew disco had died, but they were shocked to discover it's killer had strung it's balls into a trophy necklace

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