We zoom in on the news desk where a fully lipsticked news anchor is just finishing up the top stories.
"...and that's what we call a storm. And now a word from our knitting reporter on the street, Emma Svetter. Emma?"
Emma Svetter: "Thank you, Bob. Uh, nice lipstick. I'm here at Uncommon Grounds, a popular cafe and scene of a weekly gathering of knitters, the 'Stitch and Bitch' group, unofficially known as Knitting Out Loud. Knitters from all over Halifax and Dartmouth gather here to talk knit, drink coffee, share patterns, give and take advice and discuss the holiday knitting season. You heard me right, Bob. The Holiday Knitting Season.
You may not be aware, but the holiday knitting season, or HKS is upon us all. Knitters all over the world are experiencing IT, the panic of finishing a multitude of projects before the holidays. They are knitting on buses, during lunch breaks, and into the wee hours of the night. All this knitting is hard on their patience, their household chores and on their hands. No one knows it better than Steph, a knitter and knit-blogger from Nova Scotia. Good day, Steph."
Steph: Hi!
Emma Svetter: Steph, tell us a little about yourself; you've been knitting for how long now?
Steph: Well, I learned to knit as a child and made the occasional Barbie scarf. I didn't knit for quite a few years, then I attempted a project in my university years. It was a complete disaster. I abandoned that but the pull was just too strong and I came back to it again in the summer of 2003. I've been knitting ever since.
Emma: So this is your third year of knitting holiday gifts.
Steph: Yes, it is. Wow I hadn't really thought about it until now.
Emma: Wonderful. Now Steph, we were talking earlier and you were telling me about the pain you started to feel on Sunday. Could you explain it to our audience at home?
Steph: Well, I was working on a project for my Dad. (Hi dad!) I was almost to the halfway point when I started feeling twinges in my right forearm. I decided to work through the pain, you know, like any athlete would.
Emma: Uh huh.
Steph: ...and by the time I reached the halfway point, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to continue. The coach came out with the stretcher. They carried me and my project off the field. I could tell that the fans were disappointed. I... I... I just don't want to let them down, you know? *welling up with tears* They've just been so supportive of me... *accepting tissue from Emma* ...and my knitting...
Emma: Now, now. *pauses for Steph to gather herself* The fans, I'm sure, are rooting for your recovery. Tell me, what is the treatment plan? Are the coaches hoping to fast-track your recovery?
Steph: *red-eyed, but able to go on* The coaches have been great. They've reassured me that they'll be happy no matter what I am able to accomplish. I spent yesterday icing my arm and avoiding the computer keyboard at work.
Emma: I guess your projects are taking a back seat to your recovery.
Steph: They will be until I'm feeling up to snuff. There is a Stitch and Bitch gathering in Dartmouth tonight. I'm hoping to get there. I've got several projects with me on different sized needles. I'm just going to start slowly and work my way up to the lace knitting.
Emma: Well, best of luck with your recovery then. I hope you're able to get back in the game before the HKS is over.
Steph: Thanks Emma.
Emma: This is Emma Svetter for Steph's Imaginary New Knitting Station, SINKS, bidding you all a good night.
*cue catchy theme*
Brava!! Brava!! *wild applause* sniff..sniff.. Truly an inspiration to all knitting athletes everywhere. Have you tried Saran-wrapping the ice pack on like the hockey and lacrosse (my other favorite stick weilding athletes) players do? Oh, and please tell Bob that that shade of lipstick is all wrong for his skin tone. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, help is on the way...well, I'm not sure, we're all so busy knitting our own stuff. But, we wish you well and are looking forward to your triumphant return.
ReplyDeleteHave you been taking any Advil/Motrin or Aleve? Using it in cases like this will help reduce the swelling which is a big part of getting better.
Emma Svetter (I get it!). I'm with anmiryam, I think you should: 1) drug yourself to the teeth and have a few drinks so you don't feel a damn thing and 2) sprint to the finish before the buzz wears off.
ReplyDeleteThe drawback is the "KUI", or knitting under the influence, which can lead to sketchy results. Trust me.
dad did the whole - take drugs so he can keep running thing and now needs surgery - so although I know as pharmacists daughters the first thing we must do is medicate - take it easy...birdie won't be ready for her first Auntie steph sweater for MONTHS.
ReplyDeleteheh heh heh
I got some good stuff iv you is interested...
ReplyDeleteI knows two things. Knitting and Medicating. Purls and Pills. Just do not tell Emma Svetter. That I do not need.
But you is needing to get back in the game. I is thinking coffee tonite is jus the ting.
(lol I hope I don't get kicked off blogger for sounding like a dealer from bristol)
Hmmm medication while knitting... I think I've tried that, and well, let's just say the final product is a little slanted. And no, it's not normally slanted... at least I don't think so....
ReplyDelete